Breaking news courtesy of Iowahawk from the turbulent streets of Paree: FRENCH FILM STAR LE PEW INJURED IN PARIS CAT RIOTS.

PARIS - Former French matinee idol Pepe Le Pew was among the hundreds injured last night amid violent feline rioting in the impoverished Parisian suburb of Dans-le-Crappeur. Le Pew, 58, a former Warner Brothers studio actor turned Chirac government spokes-skunk, sustained severe scratches and concussions in the melee before nose-pin equipped EMT rescue squads could drag him to safety. He is expected to make a full recovery.

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Violence erupted here last Wednesday night after French Interior Minister Nikolas Sarkozy announced a crackdown on crime and furniture-scratching in the sprawling Chateau des Chats public housing projects. Enraged feline youths went on a rampage, smashing windows of local fish shops and overturning hundreds of public pay-litter boxes. Violence intensified over the weekend as enraged cats began burning and looting sprees across the suburbs, sparked by Sarkozy’s remarks that they were “easily enraged.”

In a stark warning of continued violence Monday, immigrant community spokes-cat Imam Tariq Al-Felix of the Lipi Le Lyon Mosque said that arson and looting would continue “until the French government does something to solve the problem of all the burned out looted buildings in our neighborhoods.”

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