The Democratic debate last night between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama struck me as one weird little broadcast. What the heck was that opening segment about, where everybody was cheering one another? The audience, the candidates, even the alleged journalists, all stood, smiled and clapped for each other before the debate began, and for an indecent period of time. The message, I guess, was clear enough: We’re all just great. An understandable performance by the Democratic candidates and the audience, but an (almost) unbelievable admission of pro-Democrat partisanship on the part of the CNN people.

And then, everytime the camera went to an audience member, it was someone I knew! Not friends of mine, admittedly, but familiar faces all: Rob Reiner, Pierce Brosnan, Elvis Costello, Diane Keaton, Rob Reiner again, Jason Alexander, Rob Reiner — they were all there and more.

As to the debate itself: Stipulating that I disagree with anything in the region of a concrete policy that Barack Obama proposed, he undoubtedly wiped the floor with Hillary last night. He has come a very long way since the first Democratic debates, and his performance was close to flawless. He managed to keep a positive tone while still delivering some pretty tough zingers to Clinton. And this brings me to another element of weirdness about the show: Hillary Clinton, while she defended herself, did not return fire to Obama. No mention, even, of things we already know, like all the votes in the Illinois State Senate where he was neither “yay” nor “nay” but just “present.” Not a hint about the slumlord patron that Hillary apprised us of in the previous debate. And certainly nothing new. Hillary defended herself from Obama’s criticisms but it seemed to me that she was nothing short of relentless in not criticizing him.

If I were Obama, I’d be nervous about this. Is Hillary attempting to make the story be about how nice she is, in advance of some terrible negative story that’s about to hit Barack before Super-Tuesday? “Hey, that couldn’t have anything to do with me or my campaign — you saw how much I like and respect Obama!” With polls showing signs of a surge for Obama — and last night’s debate is only going to increase that — I am honestly expecting something very nasty very soon to land on his head. The veracity of the story matters less than the timing. I might have thought it would need to happen by today, but, in this super-wired-world, you can wait till the last minute, i.e. Monday. Remember, Hillary’s crying episode (which I don’t actually think was planned at all) happened the day before the New Hampshire primary, but substantially swung the outcome. As said before, I would be shocked if Hillary could risk letting this slip away without using every possible means at her disposal. We shall see soon enough, I guess.

The most fawning and idiotic question from Wolf Blitzer was the one about the “dream ticket;” would you, Obama, take Hillary as your lawful VP candidate? And, Hillary, would you take Barack?

They gave the answers that the audience from the planet Neptune wanted to hear, but let me supply their real answers: NO and NO! Hillary, should she get the nomination, will be challenging the electorate to vote for the first woman president, and a liberal one at that. She will certainly not wish to make the challenge greater, for anyone at all, by adding to her ticket the first black VP candidate, and a liberal one too. She will go for someone with a safe and conservative image for the general election.

Obama, for his part, should he win the nomination, would most certainly not wish to saddle himself with a VP who has the kind of high built-in negatives of Hillary Clinton (about 50% of the electorate saying they will not vote for her no matter what). He will instead want someone safe and with a little gravitas to balance his youthful air. I’d suggest Dick Cheney, who did it before and could do it again, but I honestly think he’s had it with Washington.

So last night’s strange show is over, but the bigger strange show goes on and on.

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