A reader wrote to ask if I’d heard Bob mention Alan Keyes on last week’s “Theme Time Radio Hour,” which naturally I did. I hadn’t given it much thought, but — just for fun — I think it’s worth noting that this makes Alan Keyes the only candidate for president of the United States in 2008 who has received a name check on Dylan’s show.

And it was a distinctly complimentary name check at that. He was doing one of his frequent lists, in this case a list of people named “Key.” He limited it to only four “keys”: Francis Scott Key, his great-great-granddaughter Kathleen Key (with an oblique nod at Buster Keaton with whom she had an affair), Alicia Keys and of-course our good Ambassador Alan.

He said, specifically, “Let us not forget the fiscally prudent and Harvard educated Alan Keyes.”

Now, I’ve never heard Alan Keyes described as “fiscally prudent.” (I can’t say if I’ve heard him described as “Harvard educated” either, but that’s a lot less noteworthy.) I’m not too sure of all the details of what President Keyes would do on the economic front, but certainly the most dramatic thing would be the abolition of the income tax and the IRS. If that’s what Bob thinks of as fiscal prudence, well … I’m right there with him! But Bob’s is an interesting characterization to say the least.

Were most people — or at least those who know something about him — asked to characterize Alan Keyes, they would probably offer quite different descriptions. (See his Wikipedia entry for some idea of where he’s coming from. ) Some would just call him a “right wing nut” and leave it at that. Others would color it by calling him an ultra-conservative Christian extremist, or words to that effect. He’s doubtless been accused of being a hateful bigot by those who don’t appreciate his views on homosexuality. I could go on, but it’s clear what territory we’re in with Alan Keyes.

His entry into the already overcrowded 2008 presidential race doesn’t look very wise with hindsight (I can’t imagine it looked wise with foresight either, but that’s another story). There was clearly no role for him to play, and the only impression he made was that of a crank, sad to say. And I am genuinely sad, because in the 2000 election cycle, things were very different. Keyes lit up the Republican presidential debates with piercing and provocative arguments that invoked the founding documents of the United States. He eloquently and incisively addressed core moral issues like abortion and the death penalty, while other candidates cautiously remained at the level of platitude. In short, he was like a good Ron Paul (as opposed to the very bad one we have now), a gadfly, who, although he had no real chance of winning, hung in there and made an articulate case for his understanding of fundamental conservative principles. Many felt he flat-out won a number of those presidential debates. I personally liked him a whole, whole lot in 2000.

Interestingly, his last political foray was as something of a sacrificial lamb, put up against none other than Barack Obama in the U.S. Senate race in Illinois in 2004. The original Republican candidate had fallen to a scandal, and Keyes — who didn’t even live in the state — was asked to take up the gauntlet with less than 90 days to go before the election. It seems there may have been some hope that he would take some of the black vote away from Obama, Keyes himself being black. But the label of carpetbagger, added to all those other labels, was way too much to overcome.

Again, although it might be in my interest as Right Wing Bob to make the case that Bob Dylan likes Alan Keyes, I’m not seriously trying to maintain that, because I have no real idea. That would be too much to read into his brief remark on his radio show. So this is all just for fun.

Still, “fiscally prudent and Harvard educated.” Curious indeed.

The “Alan Keyes For President In 2008″ website is at this link. Apparently he is still technically in the race. But if Bob wanted to swing some states for him, I think he really needed to come out a lot stronger.

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