It’s become clear that the policy of this White House is to hush up the Vice-President’s random acts of violence by seeing that they only get reported to local newspapers. It’s a shrewd “CYA” strategy, you see: no one ever hears about it except the irrelevant yokels who buy such neighborhood bulletins, and yet, the administration cannot be charged with an actual cover up.

With this in mind, RWB searched for “Cheney shooting” on Google and discovered the following, as the 27,484th entry, from a periodical called The North Danville Herald-Dispatch (don’t bother trying to find it; minutes after I read it the NSA had already zapped it into oblivion).

Police Blotter

11:59 a.m. Sunday, 3400 block of South Washington Street, theft of medication from residence.

8:32 p.m. Sunday, 2000 block of West 10th Street, theft of CD player and coat from vehicle.

9:40 p.m. Sunday, 1900 block of South Brownlee Street, Timmy Callaghan, 35, 2124 S. Brownlee St., arrested, resisting law enforcement. He was released Monday from the Grant County Jail on $400 bond.

10:14 p.m. Sunday, 400 block of West Eight Street, attempted arrest of Vice President Cheney in shooting of a cashier at McDonalds Hamburger Restaurant in same location. Secret Service prevented arrest. VP Cheney declined to talk to officers at the scene, but was seen proffering a twenty dollar bill to the store manager, saying “This is for the mess,” and “Do whatever you feel comfortable doing.” Cashier declined to press charges, citing fear of “torture” and “Gitmo.”

11:26 p.m. Sunday, 3000 block of South Western Avenue, Stanley Kind, 33, 908 W. Ninth St., arrested on warrant, failure to appear. He was released Monday from the Grant County Jail on $336 bond.

…

The next day everybody got up
Seein’ if the clothes were dry.
The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed,
Mama, of course, she said, “Hi!”
“Have you heard the news?” he said, with a grin,
“The Vice-President’s gone mad!”
“Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night.”
“Hmm, say, that’s too bad!”
“Well, there’s nothin’ we can do about it,” said the neighbor,
“It’s just somethin’ we’re gonna have to forget.”
“Yes, I guess so,” said Ma,
Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet.

...................
Share this!

Posts which might be related to this one based on a mysterious algorithm:

• Down in Cheney County
• Birthday notes
• Never Surrender!! Well …