Bob Dylan introduced this week’s show with the following words:

Last week we talked about weddings, and as sure as night follows day, tonight’s show is about divorce. Sometimes a relationship goes down like the Titanic, and divorce is the sacrament of adultery.

And what better way to start off a show about divorce, then with country music’s favorite broken-up couple, Tammy Wynette and George Jones (as Bob said, “it take two to make a divorce”). We heard Tammy’s “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.” (no quibbling about the aptness of that title) and George Jones’ really magnificent recording, “The Grand Tour.”

Best intro of the show from Bob would have to be:

A lot of things can kill you. Knives, bullets, ropes, strychnine and iodine, carbon monoxide, a radio in the bathtub, a golf ball bouncing off a tree, bulldozers, a big rock can fall on you, parachute can fail to open, car crashes, boats, bus mishaps; you can drown in a glass of water.

But alimony is killing Tommy Tucker.

Cue “Alimony is Killing Me” from, of-course, Tommy Tucker.

Quotes:

Will Rogers said: “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.” And Johnny Carson said, “the difference between divorce and legal separation is that under legal separation you have time to hide your money.”

We heard a continuity announcement from a new voice: that of Jenny Lewis. (Who the heck knows?)

Facts and figures from Professor Dylan:

The average marriage lasts 7.2 years. The average age for divorce is 34.6 years for men and 33.2 years for women.
…

The average cost for legal fees in a divorce is thirty thousand dollars, which is why most people say that the only people happy about a divorce are the lawyers. However, the largest divorce settlement ever recorded is 874 million dollars! Shit happens.

Yeah, he did say that.

The first major technical glitch of this XM series occurred with Hank Snow’s “Married By The Bible, Divorced By The Law,” at least in the online streaming version that aired yesterday morning. Dylan gave it a sterling introduction … and then a sterling outro-duction. In between, only a millisecond. The song didn’t play. An indignity for Bob, and the ruination of the illusion. Well, that’s what you get for recording the show in bits and pieces and mailing it in. Accidents do happen. Presumably fixed on other airings of the show.

Dylan went on about one of his favorite subjects again this week: “answer songs.” He noted that Kitty Wells’ first two hits were answer songs: “It Wasn’t God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels,” followed by “Payin’ For That Backstreet Affair.” But this week Dylan was playing “one of her question songs: ‘Will Your Lawyer Talk To God For You?’”

Dylan has sung a big Kitty Wells number in concert quite a bit; that would be “Searching For A Soldier’s Grave.”

Bob also informed us that Kitty:

… opened the door for a whole slew of female country singers, paving the way for the likes of Patsy Cline, Tammy Wynette and Loretta Lynn; all clouds chasing eachother across the face of the moon.

The e-mail this week was from “Ray Benson, of Denton, Texas,” (this guy?), who wanted to know if Ernest Tubb ever recorded a song with Loretta Lynn. Dylan said that that indeed he did, and that he had 4 hit singles with Loretta in the “middle sixties,” and “I would’ve thought you’d know that.” So, we heard “Mr. and Mrs. Used-To-Be.”

Dylan credited Lefty Frizzell with …

… a Machievellian sense of humor. He once allegedly told somebody, that when he and his wife broke up, they split the house.

He got the outside.

The guest spot was from repeat offender Jimmy Kimmel. The less said about what he said, the better. These comedians are not exactly a barrel of laughs.

Dylan ended about the only way he could:

All this talk of sadness and broken hearts has made me want to go down to Elmo’s bar and get myself a drink. So, I’m going to make like a divorce, and split. See you next week, on “Theme Time Radio Hour.” Dreams, schemes and themes, on the American scene.

Playlist:

Tammy Wynette - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
George Jones - The Grand Tour
Tommy Tucker - Alimony’s Killing Me
Jerry Reed - She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)
T-Bone Walker - Alimony Blues
Maddox Brothers & Rose - Pay Me Alimony
Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson - Alimony Blues
Doris Duke - Divorce Decree
Hank Snow - Married By The Bible, Divorced By The Law
Huey “Piano” Smith - Alimony
Merle Travis - Divorce Me C.O.D.
The Drifters - Mexican Divorce
Kitty Wells - Will Your Lawyer Talk To God For You?
Ernest Tubb and Loretta Lynn - Mr. & Mrs. Used-To-Be
Lefty Frizzell - You’re Free From My Name, Dear, But You Can’t Divorce My Heart
June Christie - Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

Next week’s theme: SUMMER.

Theme Time Radio Hour with your host, Bob Dylan, on XM Radio.

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